I had a moment the other night. It was one of those moments that requires a split second decision to be made and in that split second, you waffle back and forth about 100 times, make your decision and them immediately regret it, but then it's too late.
I stopped at the grocery store after work on Friday, to pick up two steaks and a pint of ice cream as a reward for our hard work in painting the bathroom. With just three items, I scanned the 15 items or less check-out counters but the lines were long. I'm convinced that it is quicker to stand behind one or two people with 30 items than behind 8 people with five items each. So, I wound up behind an older man, who gingerly and deliberately placed each of his items, one by one, on the conveyor belt. A few blocks of cheese, some milk, meats, slowly one by one. But, I wasn't annoyed, in fact I was surprisingly calm as I considered his age and the fact that I had nothing going on that evening other than a quiet night at home - I had some time to spare.
Finally, the check out man got to this gentleman's order and swiftly scanned and bagged each item. The shopper swiped a card, but seemed to have some trouble. I assumed it was just an older generation thing and their aversion to the do it yourself era of modern technology. The check out man reached over to help out his customer and asked "food?" A strange question I thought - typically it is "debit or credit?" - until it hit me that he must be referencing food stamps. The customer nodded silently. Then some confusion ensued, the check out man printed out a receipt and informed the customer that he only had a balance of 37 cents and they must not have made the deposit yet. The customer grunted, the man asked if he should cancel the order, the customer nodded and walked out of the grocery store. Three bags of groceries were packed, but they weren't going home with him. The check out man reached to his intercom and announced "bagged groceries for restocking, checkout 3" and proceeded to scan my steaks.
For a moment, somewhere around the discovery of the 37 cent balance, I almost - almost - offered to pay for this man's groceries. It was only $30 - he would have gone home with food and I would have gone home feeling like I made a selfless gesture. But, I didn't. Something stopped me. I guess I didn't want him to feel embarrassed, but I'm sure he didn't feel so great learning he didn't have enough money for his food. Then again, I don't know much about food stamps. I don't know how they work, I don't know how or when money is deposited. I didn't know whether he just needed to wait until the next day or wait an entire month. My ignorance basically rendered me powerless to determine the appropriate course of action.
Since, I've read up on food stamps. Here is the low-down. I still don't know if I made the right decision and I'll probably never know what happened to the man who tried to buy his groceries. But, at the very least, I'm a little more educated than I was and the next time I find myself in this situation perhaps I'll waffle the other way.
[Read the related story, What Goes Around Comes Around, where I find myself in a similar situation later the same weekend.]
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4 comments:
I've worked as a cashier at a grocery store, and I've also had family members on food stamps.
As a cashier, I learned the hard way that it is appropriate to be as discreet as possible. The very first time I had to ring up someone with food stamps, I didn't know how. So I called to a manager about 10 feet away, "How do I ring up food stamps?" I was chastised by both the customer and the manager for my lack of discretion in making evident to other nearby customers and staff her need for public assistance.
Years later, my grandmother needed to go on food stamps. As with most people on public assistance, she was not a lifelong ward of the welfare state, and she felt ashamed of having to rely on food stamps. She lived in a small town where she knew many people. When on food stamps, she would have my cousin drive her to a grocery store two towns away where should could shop with less chance of running into her friends and acquaintances.
The gentleman's balance for food stamps would likely be available the next day; he wasn't in imminent danger of starving. While your offer would have been generous, it almost certainly would have embarrassed him. You made the right call.
Thank you, Anonymous, for your personal insight into this situation! It is much appreciated...
Very touching post. Is there a way to make the offer graciously in a way that wouldn't cause embarassment, do you think? Could you say something like, "I've had people help me out when I was caught short-handed and I'd love if you'd let me do the same for you now"? Or is there just no way to do it?
Several years ago when my children were small I was in need of assistance for a short period of time. My mother would go with me and help me walk through the shopping process holding my head high.
I was very aware of what I purchased
and would wait for the lines to decreased in size to assure my unanimity. It was busy and every line was long. After ringing up $300 in groceries and bagging them I realized I didn't have my ID. The checker knew who I was and knew I had ID but couldn't by law let me have the groceries without my id. I was so embarrassed I burst into tears and ran out of the store. My mother and I returned later that night with my ID and to my amazement was a bouquet of flowers with a note from the cashier saying how much she wanted me not be embarrassed and that she knew I was in a spot at that time. She was so thoughtful.I'll never forget!
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